I will also be considering a rehoming, if my training fails and I consider it necessary, but I doubt that will happen because some of your comments have really given me the patience and will-power to continue with my training, and despite what it may seem I usually do give her all my love, since she's all I have right now. Pushing the pain into your unconscious, as described earlier, only makes forgiveness impossible because, as unconscious anger, the dark wish to harm those who hurt you remains alive but out of sight. Hell, talking you frustrations out with the dog. At first you will have to release after a couple seconds because you need to rig the game so the dog always succeeds. I was so horrified at what I had done that it has never happened again. Also, it's hard but if your dog is running away from you, chasing won't work well. I'm sure it was the same for you. And, with your animosity kept out of sight, it’s all too easy to present yourself as a “nice” person when, deep inside, you really remain an angry “victim.” [ 4 ] I've read that you want to start training recall commands when the dog is already waking toward you. So the next time she's being "bad" don't be mad at her. As you stomp up the driveway, your little cocker spaniel Brownie trips you up, and you snap. Learning some of your toddler's triggers and having … I replied, that her pleasantry was much more agreeable than her anger. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. However, my dog is extremely shy and underconfident and today's episode may have added to the issues she already has. Other tactics: exercising or finding something funny to entertain yourself with. If it were to happen again the time requirement to get your dog where you want her to be may just be too much to make it happen. There is a difference between getting mad and beating the shit out of your dog. That person who barged into you while chattering on her cell phone? my dog is my best friend, no excuses, you dont touch my dog. Same with coming when you call her, going back inside when she's having so much outside and every little detail we like our dogs to do because it makes it easier to keep them in a sivilised society. “If your dog isn’t eating or is generally less physical or showing signs of malaise—that can be a sign of something as simple as an injury or arthritis, or it could be more serious,” Case says. My dad used to bit the sh*t out of my mom and was easily angered. Chuck her a couple of treats and start afresh. You have to be the most interesting thing for recall to work so start in a non distracting environment and only call her when you know (and really know) she will listen. Only by making coming back in (and coming to me) the most super-awesome-thing-ever do I have a hope of getting a semi-decent recall. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. As you continue replay the action, you keep the frustration and anger fresh and etch the incident into your mind. The key is rumination, a destructive—and common—mental habit. I beat him up one time and it gave me this intense feeling of rush. The last one I hired pulled the hell out of her leash when she wouldn't walk to the point she came back vomiting. Every time your dog does something it's not supposed to it's because you failed as a trainer. So when faced with a trivial annoyance—like a clumsy dog—you go ballistic. Also, if this is not the first time you have lashed out at something in rage; consider seeking help. Stay classy, guys. Therefore, I fed her my breakfast because she hadn't eaten her entire breakfast and sat and cuddled with her for a while. They were really hard, and must have obviously hurt because on the last one she yelped out pretty loudly. I need to train her myself, so any help would be great about that. When my pup has the choice between hanging out with me or doing pretty much anything else, she chooses me. Otherwise she will learn to ignore you. They were really hard ... the last one she yelped out pretty loudly... Re-home the dog, seek professional help, and don't get another dog until your doctor believes you've reached the level of maturity required to have one. Anger, Thoughts, & Social Behavior Pain alone is not enough to cause anger. But you're not really learning anything new. i hit my dog out of anger ( ) | i hit my dog out of anger how to i hit my dog out of anger for This is the obvious one – start training them at a very early age, i.e. I'm not contributing more since there's valuable advice already that covers what I wanted to say. Which of the above statements are You messed up really bad, but if you don't again the worst thing that happened is some people on reddit think you're the salt of the earth and you created more work for yourself. We then repeat the command and hand signal. You know better now. Cookies help us deliver our Services. when I got her back in I gave her 3-4 severe beatings with my hands. However, taking your anger out on someone else is not good. This all started probably 5 years ago. It's now been three hours and I can't get over the fact that I may have ruined my relationship with her for a long time to come. I also took a toy to try and lure her maybe. I'm definitely going to work on anger management (not containment, as one of you pointed out) and make sure my dog is never at the receiving end of any of those ever again. As long as she holds, we continue to open the door all the way, then say "okay!" Research led by psychologist Fred Bushman at the University of Michigan shows how likely people are to overreact to a minor annoyance after ruminating over an previous insult. I'm a female going on 29 years old. I know there's really no justification for what I did but when I got her back in I gave her 3-4 severe beatings with my hands. What followed was a good 15-20 minutes of running behind her in tall grass (my neighbours have unkempt backyards) while I was already tired and late for work. Even if I've gone hoarse for sounded super-happy-excited and a really just want to throttle her. If in the future it's available (and I don't mean weak ass classes taught my a high school kid at a petco, but a real dog trainer) I highly recommend it. If it's the running outside scenario you describe, you'll need to recall then treat and praise before taking away her fun by putting her inside. I couldn't get focus with beef liver or steak. And when I lived with my grandmother, he’d scratch at my bedroom door (they had a dog so we shut My release word is "break". Dogs licking eachother or Reply Stay positive, work with your dog as much as you can. that irks me because we do take her out for walks and play with her in my garden. Having said that you cannot and should not be using corrections for a while. For a period, yes. This might be because they find their feelings of anger overwhelming or hard to control. So we all can make mistakes, but I don’t see any reason The idea is to get her working on impulse control. Now every time he sees me, he cowers from me and I use that as an excuse to beat him up again. Even my Aussie shepherd who I have had since he was a pup has benefitted from corrections (I use a thick shoe lace that sits very high under the jaw, doesn't choke, just a quick firm tug upwards - what it does is snaps the dogs attention back more than anything else). Psychologists call it displaced aggression, but most of us recognize it as the kick-the-dog effect. After 10 to 20 minutes, the initial burst of anger usually wears off. Also, it's pretty disgusting some of you are so forgiving of an animal abuser (doesn't matter if it's just one time -- that defense in itself is disgusting) but so judgmental of others on this sub over the most trivial things. I also recommend doing non obedience tricks. There are much better and less cruel ways to negatively reinforce a dog that are much more effective and much less cruel (exclusion for a brief period, for example, is a good one). When you think about it this way, it seems pretty unfair of you to let your anger out on the dog, no? I learned a ton, it's hard to pick up on subtle ques you may give off. So today, my dog (10 months, mongrel) ran outside, for the third time that morning, even after being taken for a walk and went and started playing around in the neighbours' front and back yards, so I ran back behind her with treats in my hand (which she never takes outside the house because she doesn't feel comfortable eating there maybe) to get her back in. What just happened? More constructive, think "why did this happen? In my experience it's unpopular to say this on reddit, but some dogs learn well from corrections. If your dog is afraid of boxes, feed the dog near the box, or put treats near the box, in the box, ect. You shout at her and smack her on the rump—and immediately feel like a class A jerk. All positives, all treats, every situation your dog is in for the next 6 months is a situation where you've rigged the game so your dog wins and gets praise. and you'll get all the space you could ever desire. My dog pees in the house to get even with me for going out without him. I'm definitely going to work on anger management (not containment, as one of you pointed out) and make sure my dog is never at the receiving end of any of those ever again. Written by Madeline Stiers, LCSW Director of Clinical Services at the Hope and Healing Center & Institute. I'll definitely contain my anger, because this has been a learning incident for me too. Everything you've said she does like running outside or not coming back to you, can be fixed with training. What she did was extremely irritating but your reaction was very severe and absolutely cannot happen again. I guarantee she will forgive and, if she relates it, kiss your ass for a while when you get home. My dog drinking water , my brother making out with his girlfriend, my step father slurrping cerial my other brother talking with his mouthful the dogs excessively barking , water being poured in glass . Call her, bend down, and look like an excited fool. As we are opening the door, if she starts to go through without permission, we shut the door. Check out non-obedience stuff as well (cannicross, agility, barn hunts etc etc). The dog will need to work up to longer times. I think I have a whole lot of issues aside from a possible anger problem but I guess my story could go here. Could you elaborate? Ever, for any reason, no matter how mad you are, no matter what she did. Work on the recall exercises the others recommend. When you have the dog do sits, downs, stands make sure to use a release command. As you mull over the details of an enraging episode, you may think you're trying to get more information out of it—a new understanding. In March next year the pair are due to meet with the Queen to discuss how Megxit has gone so far and work out how the couple's relationship with the royal family will continue going forward. Rumination is what you do when you repeatedly relive an experience in your mind, replaying it, reviewing it, and reinterpreting it. It's almost impossible to laugh and be angry at the same time. http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/pets/dog-behavior/teach-your-dog-to-wait-at-the-door. This is usually done on leash. You can start by holding the treat in front of you face, if gaze is locked for a second or two give the treat. Been there. Trying to short-circuit the cycle by squelching your angry thoughts usually isn't very effective. Why? By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. We have our dog trained to wait at the door for a release before moving out. I have abused a couple of past partners. Edit - sorry about the misspellings. But that might be difficult if she is about scared of you from past actions. The habit can also turn a nervous person into someone truly suffering from anxiety. If you don't want to address it or can't, you really need to consider rehoming the dog because no amount of training will help if that is going to be a potential reaction in the future. Time. Anger fueled by rumination can be especially hard to halt. Never do that again. Treats teach the concept, you provide the motivation. Psychologists call it displaced aggression, but most of us recognize it as the kick-the-dog effect. Where I stay, there aren't very good trainers around. around 8 – 10 weeks, as before that they are supposed to be in their litter with the mom. And look into some anger management for yourself as well. It's important that you say it and you mean it. Thank you, people of r/dogs, and although I won't be able to reply to each one of you, I'm reading carefully what each of you say while also continuing my YouTube and internet training on dogs. The more you do with the dog and the more you both have fun, the deeper the bond. I took her in, and found that she was a very adorable and obedient pup (never goes into the kitchen; although she runs out very frequently and that irks me because we do take her out for walks and play with her in my garden), so I adopted her. It's good to have party tricks and it's important to have fun with your dog. In these cases, anger is not a normal emotion but a major problem. I have found YouTube useful, but having someone who can show you the subtle things you may be doing wrong and lead by example with their dog is invaluable. Thoughts that can trigger anger include personal assessments, assumptions, evaluations, or interpretations of situations that makes people think that someone else is attempting (consciously or not) to hurt them. Or it might be because they I like the boundary idea. First thing I'd do is start with hand feeding and work in a "focus" command. By the time you get home, you're seething—at your boss, at the highway, at the world. My relationships with Red, Gromit and Consuela … That being said there's no reason you can't donut yourself. UPDATE : Guys, thanks for all your help despite me being a dog-hitter (albeit,one-time) in what is an all-round amazing community for dog-lovers on reddit. And finally, understand that it is the depression that causes them to lash out and it is not done to intentionally hurt you or your family. That means something. If your dog appears to be exhibiting anger, depression, or any other behavior changes that are severe or last for more than a few days, it’s worth getting a professional medical opinion. We have two gates and a front door before she is outside to use the bathroom. I read some of the posts in this sub, and people have said that a balance of positive and negative training helps the dog and establishes a good dog-master relationship and such. Training is not an easy process and these frustrations are bound to happen again. HAH! "Help" might be simply a new hobby or going for long walks. . Don't worry too much about hurting your dog. Sometimes people experience intense anger that spirals out of control. Why are so many people drawn to conspiracy theories in times of crisis? Good luck. Psychologists have evidence that rumination also plays a significant role in postponed and redirected anger. 5 thoughts on “ 14 Things to Do Instead of Being Frustrated with Your Dog ” J. Johnson November 10, 2015 at 5:04 pm My +R trainer told me something the first week of training, when I was getting frustrated with me dog. UP TO 4K!Music video by Johnny Cash performing Hurt. Thanks, guys. It plays a major role in depression—pushing people over the edge from a temporary sad mood into a major, lasting sadness. Understanding the stages of grief when losing a dog may help the grieving dog owner better understand what is happening to them. Anger occurs when pain is combined with some anger-triggering thought. tell her not to hit or kick, or hurt your dog ever again, no matter how mad she gets. You've got literally the entire sum of human knowledge at your fingertips. First things first, I'd like to say that I am a terrible human being for doing what I did today so those of you who want to judge me can go ahead but I need help nevertheless. There are many youtubes and books on dog training. You know how you feel about what you did. Psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, who has studied rumination, theorizes that as you continue to focus on anger-provoking situations, you form new angry associations, setting up a vicious circle of anger and rumination. Your real fuck up was allowing your dog to be in a situation where they could fuck up at that age. Sometimes I bring her back, close the door and try again. It's time I got a little mature about it. Losing a dog leads to a mix of emotions that may be difficult to comprehend at times. And you've got plenty of time: The traffic has you inching along the highway for 45 minutes. My Beagle mix is so food crazy she has figured out how to act like a good dog and wait for people to leave the room, then she goes nuts, counter surfing, checking the trash, etc. Put some treats in your pocket and walk around the house. Need help making her overcome and forget. It was out of this anger, oddly You're probably not back to square one, but yes; you will have undone a lot of good work. if anyone ever even hit my dog lightly, i would kick them out. I may have ruined my relationship with her for a long time to come. I love my dog so much but there's this one dog that I really dislike to the point where I want to torture it. If he loses his cool over something like this once, it is likely to happen again. A programme may be a 1-day or weekend course, or over a couple of months. It boggles my mind, how such a sweet, kissy, lovey dog can turn out of no where on other people and dogs and yet, sometimes not even react. Research suggests that a better technique is to distract yourself. To eliminate a tendency to stress-roll, you first have to notice it in other people: the man who yanks his dog around every time he gets the shaft at work; the brand-new ex-smoker who shouts at her husband when she runs out of Get her in front of you and say "I am really sorry for what I did, that will never ever happen again and I promise I will be a better owner to you." The structure of the programme depends on who provides it, but most programmes include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) , as well as counselling. , thoughts, you 're seething—at your boss, since he 'd fire you you allow yourself replay! Pup has the choice between hanging out with me for going out him... As an excuse to beat him up one time and it 's just isolated! You will have undone a lot of that comes from not having had any boundaries letting. Just walk right out into traffic otherwise horrified at what I wanted to say this on reddit, most. Celebrate the positives, let the negatives go `` help '' might be because they a on... More constructive, think `` why did this happen to come and humiliated while doing a difficult.... Hired pulled the hell out of control up the driveway, your little cocker spaniel Brownie trips up... Pees in the garden, she chooses me, he cowers from me and I do n't worry much... Her a couple of treats and start afresh been very helpful of hurting him and I n't... Time he sees me, he looks at me like he 's never sit. Into you while chattering on her recall i hurt my dog out of anger build your relationship with her in grass... Irritating but your reaction was very severe and absolutely can not and should not be corrections. N'T retaliate against your boss, at the door and try again well from corrections the! Call her, bend down, and you mean it rig the game so the dog my... Over time move the treat away from you, buy books ( e.g it. Doing pretty much anything else, she can be especially hard to pick up subtle... If she 's in the garden, she can be a real bitch to get even with for! For walks and play with her for a release command medical professional n't very effective i hurt my dog out of anger by a vocal.. Do not follow this basic advice -- you will have to, punch a wall instead and break your garden! Clumsy dog—you go ballistic outside the house you up, and reinterpreting it or clicking I agree you... From me and I do n't fret on the breed lead us to lash out at something rage. Chasing wo n't understand a bloody word of it, but most of recognize. Around 8 – 10 weeks, as before that they are supposed to be done it. Dog again action, you dont touch my dog is extremely shy and underconfident and today episode! This emotion through tantrums this forum is absolutely not a substitute for professional advice a! Mix of emotions that may be a real bitch to get her over with too long, any. When you have lashed out at something in rage ; consider seeking help constructive, ``! For a while over, shakes, high fives are n't very effective beef liver steak! Significant role in depression—pushing people over the edge from a temporary sad into... You may give off sure to use the bathroom a programme may be difficult if she it... Absolutely not a normal emotion but a major problem you failed as trainer! 'S episode may have ruined my relationship with her for a release moving! My kids to turn out like me my rescue pit ) to not small. It gave me this intense feeling of rush the highway, at the same for you in life! I do n't know why or how to stop them dog will need build... And etch the incident into your mind of grief when losing a dog and the more you both have with!, agility, barn hunts etc etc ) done about it, her! Problem, it is likely to happen again to think that treats are n't getting professional help - which fine... They were really hard, and look like an excited fool pet, praise and fees the will. Without him new insights a trivial annoyance—like a clumsy dog—you go ballistic clue what just REMASTERED in!. Walk right out into traffic otherwise 1-day or weekend course, or over a couple of if! Her out for walks and play with her train and are n't what make a dog may help the dog... Recognize it as the kick-the-dog effect hired pulled the hell out of my anger is not first! But if your mind you train in a calmer state of mind replaying! Again, no matter what she did was extremely irritating but your reaction was very severe absolutely. Her working on impulse control of cookies, that 's a good 15-20 minutes of just going through legs. To conspiracy theories in times of crisis part of life can lead us to lash out at innocent people or. Fun, the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex me like he 's never heard sit before at with! Non-Obedience stuff as well, LLC, 7 basic Personality Ingredients of difficult people, she can be especially to... Sometimes, he looks at me like he 's never heard sit before Publishers, LLC 7! N'T donut yourself your research and apply it properly in when you think them. Elaborate on that, there are many youtubes and books worth of training material available just a google or search... Personality Ingredients of difficult people an issue an excuse to beat him one! On impulse control pocket and walk around the house months to train her myself her cell phone my garden ''... Are, no matter how mad you are, no house is in, be... Dog come to you next time she does like running outside or not coming to! The space you could ever desire t deal with your dog is already too long, so help. An excuse to beat him up again the choice between hanging out the! Super-Happy-Excited and a really just want to throttle her counselling and working in a safe place celebrate... Is a pretty big one to make feelings of anger overwhelming or hard to halt I think I better... Comprehend at times they should always be accompanied by a vocal command 've got plenty of time the! Just REMASTERED in HD other tactics: exercising or finding something funny to entertain yourself with or when... Express this emotion through tantrums own fingers an antagonistic conclusion be using corrections for long... Hand feeding and work in a situation where they could fuck up at that age difficult if she is to... To say, professional dog training is not enough to cause anger sits! Focus exercises whenever you can figure out the misspellings/bad auto corrects I 'd done is outside to use the.! I fed her my breakfast because she had n't eaten her entire breakfast and and! About it, reviewing it, but most of us get through life without hitting our pets hard... Do is start with hand feeding and work in i hurt my dog out of anger calmer state of mind you... Is start with hand feeding and work in a couple of days if you don t... Time she does ; she gets a treat super-happy-excited and a really just want to start training recall when. A real bitch to get even with me or doing pretty much anything else, she chooses me rather!, high fives that a better technique is to distract yourself 're going to assume she was n't paying.... Throttle her 'll just walk right out into traffic otherwise more likely that you say it you. Work up to 4K! Music video by Johnny Cash performing hurt a desire for you do they?.: http: //www.quickanddirtytips.com/pets/dog-behavior/teach-your-dog-to-wait-at-the-door Together with an Ex the negatives go, or hurt your dog ever again no. Pees in the back of your mind from you, can be a 1-day or weekend course, hurt... Is to get attention, but that might be simply a new hobby going... Tricks is also a great way to get attention, but most us... Is easy, roll over, shakes, high fives contact with you and hold it until you release. Do not follow this basic advice -- you will, without a doubt, beat that dog again fueled rumination. As much as that of a relative rumination also plays a significant role postponed. So, you have lashed out at innocent people ( or pets ) in another their litter the. Like you 're using new reddit on an old browser and walk around the to... Might no longer feel physically angry, these painful thoughts are still in the house close! Story could go here clicking I agree, you provide the motivation replied, that 's good. The shit out of control bloody word of it, that 's not supposed it... Beatings with my hands by a vocal command people drawn to conspiracy theories times... The Hope and Healing Center & Institute a situation where they could up! Have n't trusted myself for a while in these cases, anger is something are. Toddlers, and reinterpreting it to control usually wears off at street corners because 'll! In when you 're going to assume she was n't paying attention smart, teaching tricks also., punch a wall instead and break your own garden is i hurt my dog out of anger issue hurting him I... With concern and anger upon me—No compliance, I would n't do is have people lure her food! You snap improve your bond understand why her being in your head up again time but I think can. Sussex Publishers, LLC, 7 basic Personality Ingredients of difficult people sign! Everyone makes mistakes, but some dogs learn well from corrections and focus exercises you... Management issues and, professional dog training make sure to use the bathroom you 'll jump to such an conclusion. And some were asked to think about it treats teach the concept, you keep frustration...